Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Door's cover as only Al Jourgensen could perform
Ministry covers Roadhouse Blues as originally performed by The Doors. For those of you not familiar with Ministry or Al Jourgensen for that matter, I pity you, for your life is that much less exciting. Having never had the experience of driving at too high of speeds to be deemed safe while thrashing around as if in a drug induced seizure, or being head butt in the pit during a Ministry concert barely avoiding unconsciousness. Yes, those are just a couple of the exhilarating experiences that I have been fortunate enough to have had while Ministry was blaring in my earhole at a most definitely unhealthy level. Founded in 1981, Ministry rocked hundreds of thousands of fans harder than witnessing their very own mother gag-balled bent over your favorite childhood rocking horse. Ministry has since broken up so that front man Al Jourgensen can focus his time and energy on his newly formed record label 13th Planet Records. Its a shame than Ministry is no more, but rest assured that big things will come out of his new venture.
New Features and A New Poll
Check out the new features! Tell me what you think. Become a follower because leading is for homos! Oh, why the Moonlighting? That's what I asked my wife when she ordered the complete first season on our Netflix and that's all there is to watch now. So, feel my pain....
Dirty "D" Has Parts For Sale (contact him here)
21 volum
$150. 003
primo
$50. 00
s&m slams
$10. 00
atom lab rear wheel
$30. 00
fly rim 36h gold/
$20. 00
old araya
$15. 00
Why?
This guy also likes cheeseburgers, on his other arm he has, ahh nevermind this is fucking retarded.
Your's Truly Interview On Psychicflyingmonkey.com (click here)
This collage is very epic, thanks Jason!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Somebody Help Me Get One Of These Bad Boys
This right here folks is vending machine heaven, a mecca for the pocket change enthusiast, a cornucopia of dispersion, if you will. I have no idea where this is but if I did, oh if I did, I wouldn't tell any of you assholes cause that lit up tombstone of Tombstone Pizza would be empty and you'd be tweaking on the bull. Speaking of Red Bull I've come up with a concoction that should surely meet your needs in the sports drink arena. Red Bull + Orange Gatorade, it's called the clicked mix. Enjoy...
Next In The Dark Knight Series
yep Philip Seymour Hoffman as the Penguin
and old J.D. as the Riddler....
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Impetus Of Clickedbmx... "The Jason Ryan Interview"
The man you love to hate...Name:
Jason Ryan
Age:
36
Current Location:
Tempe, Arizona. I’m right by the Mesa border, but by the grace of God not in Mesa.
Height:
How high’s the Old School, mama? Six feet one and risin’.
Build:
Large. At least that’s what the ladies tell me.
Current Hair Length:
After I cut my long hair into a mullet and rocked that for 3 long months in 2004 (it was supposed to be only 3 weeks) I got my hair cut short for the first time since 1994. I was a long-hair for ten years and I was ready for a change. I would keep it short now, but I just can’t justify paying for haircuts every 3 months, so sometimes I’ll wait 6 or 9 months to get it cut short again. Plus, changing my hair a lot keeps life interesting.
Trash Stache yes or no?
Not right now. I did it for the premieres of both my films, and of course when I had the mullet. But I’m chillin’ on it right now—attracts too many hillbilly chicks.
When was the last time you saw boobies on the salt river?
Last year. And I didn’t just see ‘em, I sucked on them bitches!
Jason that's not a pimple (click the picture to get full view, or don't doesn't bother me)
Why are you always talking so much shit on the internet?
When I started out with my website, I started talking shit because it’s so much more interesting to say something derogatory about your friends and other riders than to say, “Oh my God, that dude’s so awesome, he flows so good, he has so much style”, and all that dicksuccin’ kind of shit. It was all done in a jocular, good-spirited manner, even though the actual wording could be pretty harsh. The English call it, “Taking the piss out of someone”. Everybody pretty much understood that at first, but then in 2004, Billy Franevsky, KC Badger, and Keebler (Eric Van Tine) started coming on the site and talking shit in a very mean-spirited way. That changed things. You see the same stuff on the come-up board. A bunch of mean-spirited hate talk.
What's Jose Yanez up to? or What the fuck is up with Jose Yanez?
I just did Rockaoke with Joser the other night. That’s where you do karaoke but you’re backed by a live band and there are no words on a screen, you’ve got to read them off a lyric sheet. It’s the closest you can get to actually rockin’ without being a real rocker. Jose’s got a fairly new site up—www.myradself.com. He drinks his Busch every evening, and hopefully one day he’ll stop drinking so much Busch and do some of the things he’s been talking about forever, like getting a BMX show team together again and touring.
the new PFM sticker/t-shirt in the works...
Have you ever dressed up as a Star Trek character then went to the Renaissance Festival and acted like you were from the future? Saying things like: "I... seemed... to have traveled... back in time.. into 15th century England" into your tricorder.
What’s a tricorder? I don’t know ‘cause I hate Star Trek. The Enterprise always looked so clunky and gay compared to the Star Wars ships that I couldn’t get into it. Also, most of the other species didn’t look non-human, they just looked like dudes and chicks with a little makeup and sometimes a tiny bit of prosthetics on their mugs. You got a good idea, there, though, and I’m down to team up with you and Jose and try it sometime. Jose loved Voyager when it used to be on.
It seems that Phoenix riders despise you more than the greater metropolitan area of Tucson, why do think that is?
A few things. One reason is that some people don’t get my shit-talking and they take it personally, which is very thin-skinned and dumb. Another reason is that I tell the truth about the scene and what’s going on. Yet another reason is that as Arizona’s most prolific BMX filmmaker, there are some riders that feel ignored and they think I owe it to them to shoot them and put them in my films because they’re good and I live close to them. When I don’t, they hold it against me personally. Yet another thing I’ve seen is that riders respond more to trends much more now than when I first started riding in 1985. So if one or two of the riders they look up to say they don’t like me, they just follow suit, choosing to despise me only because someone else does. Anyone up for a nice bowl of lemming and sheep stew?
But in reality, what you see on the internets isn’t all that accurate. I just went on the Sunday on Central street ride that Clay, Robbie, Zuka and C-Los put together, and most riders were very friendly to me and we all had a great time. I guess it would be nice if people who are cool with me would be a little more vocal online, but whatever. Like I said before, derogatory stuff is more interesting. What blows me away, though, is how I’ll be riding at one of the now 5 concrete bike-friendly parks, and sometimes a couple riders will be sitting across from me, looking at me with a big ole puss on the whole time. What kind of sense does that make? How much of an ungrateful, entitled prickturd can you be, hating on a guy who busted his ass to get that park you’re riding right now?
Even though some people may hate on you, you've accomplished a lot in the Phoenix area with getting bikes in parks, what are some of your recent accomplishments and what's in store for the future?
I will thank you for pointing that out, sir. Somehow the big magazines and websites don’t seem to think it’s a big enough deal to report on, which boggles the mind. Ryan Fudger is the worst, because he’s known every goddamn thing we’ve done here--he goes to my site every day--and has done zero reporting on what we’ve accomplished. The BMX industry makes a product that is ILLEGAL to use almost EVERYWHERE! BMX companies, websites, and magazines should be stumbling over themselves to report on every killer new public park that gets built, and to explain how it got done so that kids nationwide will get inspired to get off their collective slammed seats and get new parks. Am I out of my fucking mind with this? Am I just a looney tuner? Goddamn it! Cock, balls and pussy what the fuck?!
My most recent accomplishment is the Tempe BMX/Skatepark, which was proposed by bike riders and would not exist if not for the efforts of bike riders. I’m also
working on getting another BMX/Skatepark in North Tempe, this time 60,000 square feet (almost 3 times the size of Chandler). We’ve got yet another thing we’re working on with Tempe as well, but I’m not at liberty to talk about it right now. We’ve got strategic moves planned for Gilbert and Apache Junction as well.
Sparks PLUS or Sparks regular?
I had Sparks once. It was alright, but if I want a sweet drinky drink I’ll take a margarita with Cuervo anytime.
You've single handedly put out two of the longest and most controversial (some might say) BMX videos of all time, I have to know, why?
Oscar Wilde wrote, “Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the work is new, complex, and vital.” He also wrote that all art is quite useless, so that helps keep me humble. You’re right on the controversial tip. The people that love my videos really love them, and the people that hate my videos really do hate them. I make videos because I want to show people the things I want to see in a video. I’m just being truthful in my work. If people don’t like that, then they can go watch the newest trendy video that nobody will remember in two years, I don’t give a fuck. My videos are built to last.
What's your favorite move on the BMX?
Probably nosepicks and nosepick variations. I do this one nosepick where I go up and land on the deck at an angle with my front brake pulled, and the momentum slowly carries my back wheel higher and more perpendicular to the coping, that I end up stalling and going in Canadian style. I love that feeling and I’ve never seen anyone do nosepicks like that without front brakes.
Don't you fucking give me raditude asshole, this is my site!
Why do you always have on so many pads? I never see your ass go big so what's the deal? You should put on some cut offs and a wife beater you know? Maybe roll around do some toothpicks, sit back, do some peg manuals wipe your brow with your psychic flying monkey bandana. What the fuck was my question?
First of all, you can eat a cock Michael Hines. Second of all, every one should consider what they’re doing and their skill level when deciding to wear pads or not. Sliding triple kinked rails, toothpicking 3 foot subs, jumping Chandler’s box, airing 5 feet out of a 9 foot quarter, and nosepicking 10 foot over-vert quarters are big enough for me to justify wearing some pads. Wood and dirt give a little, but concrete does not. And what is the most important item of protective gear I wear? The psychicflyingmonkey bandana, hands down. They provide unparalleled protection against brain injuries.
this dude sure loves his front wheel tricks... J-Lo hopping on the Miami Vice tip for real dog.
What's it like to have two first names?
Everyone knows all good superstars have two first names. Lenny Bruce. Steve Martin. Woody Allen. Chevy Chase. But Ryan didn’t used to be a first name. It was always a last name to me and everyone else until around ’95, when kids with that name started getting around 14 or 15, and the name came up on everyone’s radar as a first name.
Have you seen Ratboy lately?
The last time I saw him is when I interviewed him for Ride UK. Sadly, he was way more dedicated to drinking than he was to riding. It’s too bad, because he was such an innovator on street. People have just recently caught up to a lot of the stuff he did. I had arranged to film a full section with him for The Impetus of Cletus, but he stopped riding right before I was ready to start filming with him. Remember that, kids. If you keep riding all your life, you’ll be in good shape, you’ll avoid a lot of health problems, and you’ll have that creative outlet in your life. If you drink hard all your life, you’ll get DUI’s, have to get on TASC, get cirrhosis of the liver or alcoholic hepatitis, and will end up with a shitload of problems. Even your problems will have problems.
Who's your favorite bike rider or who influences you the most on the BMX?
My favorites have changed over my 23 years of riding, so let me tell you my first favorite and my most recent favorite. Martin Aparijo was my first favorite. He was a pro flatlander, and everything he did teemed with style. One of the first BMX articles I ever read was an interview with him in a FREESTYLIN’ magazine I picked up in Long’s Drugs in Springerville, Arizona where I was living. One of the pics was of Martin doing a bar ride down a freeway with cars on it and it blew my mind.
My most recent favorite is Brian Foster. I always liked his dirt jumping style, but when I saw him flow Mat Hoffman’s concrete park in Oklahoma City during the 2005 CFB, I was psyched. He flowed it like a skater would, but he went much higher and invented new lines that no one else would touch.
Well Jason, I've known you for awhile now and no matter how much shit talking you do or other people do I know you're a good guy and I appreciate all the hard work you've done for the sport. Thanks for taking the time and being a good sport. Do you have any shout outs or thanks to add?
Thanks to everyone who’s gone to city council meetings, protests, parks and rec board meetings, etc. in the effort to get public, legal places for bikes to ride. Special thanks to Pat Blackburn and Rex Golos for their leadership in the fight. I never ever could have gotten legal bike-friendly parks all by myself. Thanks to Kore Bike Industries and Profile for sponsoring me, ‘cause every little bit helps. Thanks to Chuck Dogg for suppohtin’. And thanks to everyone who buys my videos and goes to my website. Your business is greatly appreciated…….pussies.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Some Damn Good Trails
Dialed 603 Trail Mix from Johnny Herrick on Vimeo.
Stupid desert and lazy ass kids, no freaking trails anywhere. I'm gonna go cry in the corner now.
These Poor Dogs
See more funny videos at Funny or Die
I don't know why I post so much shit. It's literally shit and for some reason it makes me laugh, I hope it makes you laugh, or else I'm failing big time. Here your girlfriend/wife will love this one trust me...
Bissell BlackJack Nationals
Will "the missile Bissell at the ABA Blackjack Nationals in Reno last weekend. He's sporting a new helmet courtesy of Big Tools (his sponsor) with a bright green visor. He ends up having a shitty first straight but that don't mean shit for the missile...
Darwin Reveals Himself
DAYTON, TN—A steady stream of devoted evolutionists continued to gather in this small Tennessee town today to witness what many believe is an image of Charles Darwin—author of The Origin Of Species and founder of the modern evolutionary movement—made manifest on a concrete wall in downtown Dayton.
Mom is proud
http://view.break.com/521669 - Watch more free videos
Not sure this deserves to be on here but what the hell.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
505 Trailer
505 trailer from mariocarrasco on Vimeo.
Damn! the Albuquerque kids got it going on! This is really, really good. Come on Tucson our neighbors are showing us up. In a good way though.
Do Work Son
You ever notice how many cat pictures are on the internet? I mean seriously who the fuck is loading all these god damn cat pictures? I just googled "I did work son" because me, Floyd, and shorts went and got some jibs on the BMX tonight. It was a pretty decent night, I think everyone got a clip and we ate the new volcano taco at Taco Hell. Recommendations on the ass burner in a red crunchy shell: no go son, well, it's basically a regular old hard taco, dyed red, with the nacho chessy sauce they pore on everything there. So, if you're into gimmicks then the taco that gives you molten lava out your ass tomorrow is right up your alley. Back to the cat photos on the internet. Here's my theory on the internet in a delightful percentage sort of way. 80% porn... 15% cat pictures... 3% wikipedia entries... 1% dick enhancement ads.... and 1% myspace friend request bots. Oh, and fuck that cat, I'd use Chun Lee and fucking spinning round kick it. I love all the cat photos though.
My email to Bill Allen (Cru Jones) see post below this one.
Hey Bill!
My name is Mike Hines I have a BMX website/blog and have been a huge fan of the movie RAD since it came out. I'm 27 and I remember going to the video store with my mom every week and making her rent it every time, she finally got so fed up she bought me the movie. I also had the pleasure of meeting Bart Conner about ten years ago, but anyway I could go on forever, here's the questions:
How was ass sliding with Lori Laughlin? Was she fit or kinda flabby? It's hard to tell in those bad 80's clothes.
How much riding did you actually do in the movie?
Do you remember Jose Yanez? (the stunt double who did the flip in the movie) I've met this guy several times and he's a little kooky, got any good stories about him or the other BMX riders at the time?
Are you involved in BMX at all?
Did you watch it in the Xgames or Olympics? If so, what do you think of the progression of the sport, both racing and freestyle?
Did you think that more than 20 years later people would be asking you questions about this movie?
Dude, Hell Track, Thoughts?
Thank you,
Mike Hines clickedbmx.com
My name is Mike Hines I have a BMX website/blog and have been a huge fan of the movie RAD since it came out. I'm 27 and I remember going to the video store with my mom every week and making her rent it every time, she finally got so fed up she bought me the movie. I also had the pleasure of meeting Bart Conner about ten years ago, but anyway I could go on forever, here's the questions:
How was ass sliding with Lori Laughlin? Was she fit or kinda flabby? It's hard to tell in those bad 80's clothes.
How much riding did you actually do in the movie?
Do you remember Jose Yanez? (the stunt double who did the flip in the movie) I've met this guy several times and he's a little kooky, got any good stories about him or the other BMX riders at the time?
Are you involved in BMX at all?
Did you watch it in the Xgames or Olympics? If so, what do you think of the progression of the sport, both racing and freestyle?
Did you think that more than 20 years later people would be asking you questions about this movie?
Dude, Hell Track, Thoughts?
Thank you,
Mike Hines clickedbmx.com
Ask Cru! (Bill Allen) click here!
Over at Albe's they're in contact with the real Cru Jones, well the actor Bill Allen who played Cru. They're doing a Q&A email session where you can ask him anything you want. This is fucking awesome! I'm thinking of questions as I'm typing this.
Send questions to BillisRad@Albes.com
The Dude
Ha ha, I had to post this. It's my little dude, when he can talk I'll do an interview with him, and when he can walk I'll get some footie of him riding. Elliot Michael Hines edit due out 2011... I swear he's thinking "Dad, you're a jackass and you're embarrassing me."
Politics
Here's your experience....
Now, I'm trying my hardest to not get all political on this blog because I want this to be your breathe of fresh air away from all of that shit. But, god damn you can't escape it right now. The lies, the arguments, the dirty shit going on in this country by rich assholes just to try and get a puppet elected, is making me sick. So, this will be my only political post, unless I find a naked picture of Sarah Palin, then maybe I'd post that, but that would be more porn then politics. Anyway, you're not here to listen to my views on the subject your here to watch funny shit, get the latest BMX news, see what's up in the southwest, and maybe make fun of us, but you're not here to talk about politics. There are millions of those sites just go to digg.com and get the gist of it all if you're really needing a fix. Nobody and no fucking news story is gonna change my vote and I bet you probably feel the same right now. One thing I will say is, VOTE. I don't care if you write yourself in, do it. It's our right, just like having a blog of only curse words and naked chicks, it's our right and we should use it. Fuck it, I'm even thinking about getting involved in local politics, if I do I'll make a separate political site though, don't worry. My first duty as Mayor would be a 24 hour bike/skate park with lights and free popcorn, everyone loves free popcorn.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Epic Bmx Edit
EpicBmx from Bradley McGraw on Vimeo.
Featuring Cody Jennings, it's weird he doesn't look wasted either.
It's So Cold In The "D"
101 Freestyle Tricks: part 2
Robbie
Robbie Digital from Robbie Owen on Vimeo.
Saw this over on SWBMX.com had to post it cause you know I'm feeling this song. Kool Keith ftw
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Bro-Core 101
If anyone has any footage or pics from the "contest", send them our way. Its always interesting to see what novel way a kid in stretch pants can throw a tailwhip. Or for that matter, if anyone has any info about the "contest" at all, send it over... who entered, how everyone finished, if anyone curbed themselves on their top tube and lost some teeth as a result, you know the important stuff. In related news, FLOYD is banned for life from the park due to a little incident involving spray paint on a ramp. Perhaps he should have huffed the paint through his sock instead, but who am I to say.
I'll take two
I can't tell if I'm more disgusted by "flavour biscuits" or "burnedmeat" I guess it's just one of life's mysteries.
Scramble
Scramble from Sam Javanrouh on Vimeo.
You know a lot of people hate on Tucson, and a lot of people deeply love it. It seems that it's one extreme or the other, I mean you don't really hear to many people say, "yeah it's alright". The locals are usually the die hard fans, and anyone who despises Phoenix is most likely on our side, but then almost everyone from Phoenix thinks Tucson is some hick, white trash, meth festival, surrounded by mountains. OK, so we won the award for the ugliest street in the U.S. back in the late 70's, so what, don't drive down it. You know one reason I love Tucson, because there's no streets like the one featured above here. That shit would give me an anxiety attack. The best thing about this city is you can still drive 20 minutes in every direction and be in the middle of the desert by yourself, well, maybe you and some meth heads who are shooting their glock at some old car. But, hey at least it ain't Phoenix right?
Monday, September 1, 2008
Things to say during sex (flow chart, click to enlarge)
Favorite one on the bad side: "I'm gonna fuck the farts out of you"
